


A Small Cat in a Big World

by luchsa



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Thinking about a pet dying, cat dies, with shit happening in the world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:40:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26778253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luchsa/pseuds/luchsa
Summary: Lily's cat at home has dies and she doesn't know how her feelings fit into her world that is currently growing more crazy and dangerous.





	A Small Cat in a Big World

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is a late night brain fart and not betaed, I am sorry. This is also my first fic I'm posting so be gentle. My cat has died and I had feelings, and I actually need to get them out there, that's the only reason I am posting this. I hope all of your pets are doing great!

It was a simple note. Delivered to her by Leo, the grey owl her father had enthusiastically picked up two years ago in diagon alley. Her mother had written her about Easter plans, and how Petunia had made the prettiest costumes for the school play, and that they would all go and see it together when she came home. And then:

"And my sweetie, I’m so sorry but the cat has died. He’s been acting strangely for a few weeks and we went to the doctor and there was nothing they could do. Your father has already buried him in the yard. I’m sending along a photo of you with him that I took last summer. "

Her mother ended the letter with that. What a way to end the letter. Lily was glad she was alone in her bed in the dormitory. She sometimes imagined dramatical moments where she would get bad news in public (she really did not want to imagine what kind of news, but they had to be properly dramatic for the daydream to work) and everybody would be fussing about and she would shed a single tear and people would admire how strong she was. Right now, though, she was glad she was alone. If she was being honest to herself, she rather processed any news for her alone and then, when she was ready, she would tell people.

And it had been awhile since she had had any of those daydreams. The real world seemed to be dramatic enough and it felt dangerous even thinking about getting bad news. She sighed and leaned against the headboard and a single tear fell out of her left eyes. And then another out of her right. Lily had loved the cat. It was a pretty little thing, and though they had named him Thomas once upon a time, she and her family had always only called him cat. Thomas had just come to them one day, fled from one of their neighbour’s cat shelter that the old lady had set up in her basement. Lily had been 8 and alone most of the time, because Petunia refused to play with her and Severus was seldomly let out of the house. So she spent her time trying to get the cat to trust her. Now she was fifteen and had been away from home for almost five years. But the summers were still long and Petunia still did not really talk to her and Severus was still barely available so Lily had always loved the moments the cat had come to snuggle her while she read. He was the prettiest thing with the fluffiest fur, and he was not shy in the least. He would come and bump his head against her hand, or her head or her leg and demand attention which he received. Her parents had always complained that he was annoying them constantly and that she just did not see it because she was gone at Hogwarts. Though they loved him, they really loved it when she was home and the cat was leaving them alone. Every year, she had thought about bringing him to Hogwarts but there were so many other cats in the Gryffindor dormitories and common room already and the cat really likes his own territory. She looked at the picture in her hand. 14-year-old Lily looking delighted with a big tiger-striped cat on her chest. 

Suddenly, she heard footsteps and voices that shook her out of her revelrie and she quickly wiped her cheeks with her hand, shoved the letter and the picture under her blanket and grabbed a book from her bedside table. She had just opened the book when two girls entered. 

‘Oh, you’re reading that again?’ Mary asked, the taller of the two. 

Lily realized she had grabbed Anne of Green Gables which she had only finished yesterday and gushed with Mary about. 

‘Oh, er, yeah, just looking up a couple of scenes I liked’, Lily answered. Luckily, she was no stranger to nerd-book-etiquette. 

Mary smiled dreamily. ‘I love doing that.’

‘Yeah, yeah, we get it. You two love books. Nothing we’ve never heard before.’ Dorcas shook her head and started to pull Quidditch gear over her training clothes. ‘You ready?’ Dorcas voice was muffled while she put the thick sweater on. ‘I really need the practice!’ 

Lily immediately remembered, she and Mary were going to help Dorcas practice goal-keeping. That’s why she had come up, to get her coat and mittens.

‘Yeah.’ She said and smiled. It was easy, really. Smiling. She loved hanging out with Mary and Dorcas, and she had been looking forward to this. It gave her an excuse to practice her charms and get out of the castle. While she and Mary could barely keep their balance on a broom, they were perfectly capable of charming a few balls to aim for the Quidditch hoops. While they were all gathering their things, Lily contemplated telling them about her cat. But what would happen really? She would say it and then be expected to be sad. And if she wasn’t sad, then would have to make excuses to why she wasn’t sad. Or she might get hugs, which she neither wanted nor needed right now. She would deal with this on her own first. And to be honest, it was not really much to deal with anyways. There were bigger problems in the world. Even though she felt this heavy-heartedness thinking about coming home for Easter and there was no cat waiting for her. No cat jumping on her bed just when she is about to go to the bathroom, so she now has to hold her pee for two more hours. No cat hair all over her clothes and no more fluffy fur and the perfect head shape for petting. 

On the way to the Quidditch field she joked with the girls, and they had fun throwing charmed balls at Dorcas and at dinner she had an interesting conversation with a sixth year prefect about the portion they were currently learning about. It was a normal and good day, and yet Lily kept thinking about when and if to tell her friends. Lily felt okay, she felt normal, but she also felt that sadness sitting in her chest and if she told her friends she would not know the answers to the inevitable questions of how she was doing, if they could do anything. Because what could she say? I’m doing okay, I’m living my life, and my life is actually pretty okay and how could I ask any of you to deal with my feelings over a cat when we’re facing the beginnings of a literal war in the real world? 

So, she just sighed a bit more than normal but otherwise continued living her life in the real world with the big fears and the big problems.


End file.
